Today I laid down my pride. Not because I wanted to but because the pain was that unbearable it brought me to tears.
Why is it so hard to ask for help? Okay, let me rephrase the question. Why is it so hard for ME to ask for help? Stubborn? Prideful? Selfish? Yes, yes, and yes to all of the above.
Living with chronic pain is just a part of me. I don’t say that to play victim, it’s just fact. Complaining about it won’t change anything. I don’t like taking prescriptions either. Pain killers make me feel sick so, I tough it out, stop crying and keep moving.
Yesterday the pain was so bad I was nauseous, couldn’t sleep or get comfortable. Sleep deprived and in pain, I’m now crying. No amount of ibuprofen or acetaminophen will help. I already know this. My breathing exercises aren’t working. Repeating scripture isn’t working. All my tools in my tool bag aren’t working.
I call Dr. E, make the appointment, X-rays, a visit with him and a few hundred dollars later, he writes me a temporary prescription. My muscles around my spine are angry. Disc degeneration and arthritis are making them more angry. Dr. E knows I don’t like meds, but it’s just for a few days to calm them down.
It’s only for a few days. Why did it take me so long to go see him? Why has it taken me so long to reconsider a temporary treatment that will bring more effective relief?
I see so much of my life in these angry neck muscles. There’s help, within arms reach. All I need to do, all we need to do is ask. We aren’t meant to be on this earth and do it alone.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6
Today I encourage you to be willing to ask. Memorize this verse and keep it in your heart for the next time something in your life is angry. Whether it be loneliness, loss of a dream, a wayward child, or angry neck muscles. Whatever your “it” is, Trust Him. Acknowledge Him and He will guide you. How do I know? Because I am living proof.
Love y’all. Missy xo