I remember her, that girl that wanted to disappear. She didn’t want anyone to notice her. She didn’t want to engage conversation with anyone. She most certainly did not want to make eye contact with anyone. What did she want? She wanted to be looked over, passed up, forgotten. She did not believe she was worthy to be loved. She wanted to be invisible.
How do I know all of these things about “her”? You see, that she … was me.
Ten years ago I was sixty-three pounds heavier. I had battled divorce, a near fatal car crash, PTSD, a child with a TBI and PTSD, depression, anxiety, the death of my mother, and the obvious result… sadness, loneliness, and the most obvious weight gain. I survived on diet soda and breath mints. When I did eat it was all the wrong stuff and way too much at one time, and it was destroying my body, destroying my mind and simply crushed my spirit.
If I am being totally honest and completely transparent, I was trusting God but not in ALL things or in ALL circumstances. I was destroying the temple He entrusted me with.
“Therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:1-2 (HCSB)
Fast forward to now… God has delivered me from so many things and truly has restored in me what the locusts have eaten. He has grown my boys and given me an amazing God fearing man in my life who is now my husband.
I truly believe God could not heal me until I handed Him my pain, my heartbreak, my grief, my fear, my sadness, my everything. He could not heal me until I was ready and willing to hand Him my ashes.
“The Spirit of the Lord God is on Me, because the Lord has anointed Me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and freedom to the prisoners; to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor, and the day of our God’s vengeance; to comfort all who mourn, to provide for those who mourn in Zion; to give them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, festive oil instead of mourning, and splendid clothes instead of despair. And they will be called righteous trees, planted by the Lord to glorify Him.” Isaiah 61:1-3 (HCSB)
Today, you will see a happiness, a glow if-you-will. I am so blessed and yes, I truly am happy. Anything good you see in me is all Jesus. He is my deliverer. He is my restorer. He is my Great Physician, He is my biggest fan, He is my King and Father, and I am forever grateful.
(March 2018 “date night” with my husband Mark.)
If you’re a little like who I was or a lot like her, wanting to disappear or be invisible, please have hope. Trust and know God is working for the very best for you.
“We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 (HCSB)
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
The promises of God are true. They are promises God has intentionally, strategically and lovingly planned and prepared for you! He is working circumstances out. He is putting key players in place. He is defeating the enemy on your behalf. He is restoring what the locusts have eaten.
Change is coming and the favor is yours my sisters and brothers. Tomorrow is a new day and I am believing with you that God will reveal hope in and through your circumstances, through your pain, and by your ashes.
So, as hard as it is… slowly release the tight grasp of your hands and watch with great expectancy as the blackened and charred remains scatter in the wind and God places stunning and breathtaking beauty where the ashes once were.
Jesus loves you so very much, as do we. We are praying for you and can’t wait to hear and see ALL God has for you in and through this season.
We love y’all!
Mark & Missy Williams
In response to The Daily Prompt: Invisible
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